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Frank Miller’s Brain Fart: All-Star Batman & Robin the Boy Wonder
Fabulous artwork. Terrible dialogue. (Click to enlarge.) So, All-Star Batman & Robin the Boy Wonder. (And you thought MY titles were long.) This series is awful, to begin with. I just want to get...
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Christopher Robin is NOT Completely Rotten!
The latest in a long string of live-action remakes of Disney classics, Christopher Robin took a different tack because it would be absolutely impossible to duplicate in a live-action film the charming...
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Electric Dreams: Copy of a Copy of The Twilight Zone!
They look like good actors, don’t they? Twist ending: IT DOESN’T MATTER. The Twilight Zone was a cultural phenomenon, and ever since TV producers have been stealing the formula and making bad TV with...
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Venom: Sony Should DEFINITELY Fire Their Trailer Guy
So I went and saw Venom. It’s a Tom Hardy movie, and he was phenomenal in Warrior and also The Dark Knight Rises, Inception, Dunkirk, and so forth. He’s a great actor, but all the trailers for this...
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Dear Writers: Spread Joy and GET PAID!
Money isn’t evil. Money isn’t even the root of all evil—the love of money is. So why are so many people enamored of the notion that making money is bad bad terribad? It’s true: there are immoral and...
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Michael Myers: The Scooby Doo Scary Man
I’m assuming you’ve seen at least one episode of Scooby Doo. (If you haven’t, the hell are you doing here?) In every episode, there’s a scene something like this: Scooby Doo comes out dressed to the...
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Final Fantasy XV Literally Had Me Begging the Game To End
When you get to the end of a game, and you’re begging for it to be over (out loud even, at least once), that’s not a good sign. I’m not saying it’s a bad game, just that it’s way too long. I wish I...
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The Dead: When Making a Zombie Movie Almost Kills You
The Dead is a legitimate cinematic achievement. Shot on location in Burkina Faso, in West Africa, the twelve-week shoot saw the cast and crew face corrupt cops and officials (who demanded bribes to do...
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Overlord: It’s Saving Private Ryan Meets Resident Evil Meets Captain America!
Overlord is Saving Private Ryan meets a Resident Evil video game meets Captain America: The First Avenger. And I mean that in very specific and detailed ways. The WWII movie is about a unit of the...
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Crimes of Grindlewald: How the Wizarding World Was Wiped of All Wonder!
As a reviewer, I’m told I have two distinct responses to movies. The first is “This movie is so bad they should bring back the stocks so we can lock up everyone involved and pelt them with rotten...
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